Monday, 2 May 2016

12 tips to help you relax & combat life's challenges with anxiety, stress and worry.

Even when things aren't perfect or don't seem to be working out, I choose to trust in life.

Here are some tips to help you deal with life's challenges, which I hope will enable you to recognise and control common tensions and anxieties. It is my belief that the only way to be able to combat anxiety successfully, is to learn all you can about it and then teach yourself ways of controlling the problems and effects caused by either an anxiety attack or an anxious situation that you find yourself in.

These tips are in no particular order and I hope that you will read them all, try them all and then use the ones that you find 'work for you':

1. Talk over your worry. Everyone needs to do this at different times in their life. (Choose a friend, relative or professional helper you can trust).

*The magic word here is trust! It is impossible to talk candidly to someone who you feel either does not understand or you don't trust. If you find someone who you can trust, try to use that trust and friendship to help relieve some of your burdens.*
Some Results: You will have relief from strain and be more able to see what you can do about your problem.

2. Escape from your problem - even if only for a while. (Lose yourself for a while in a change of scene or an interest. There is no merit in "Sticking it out" and suffering).

*As I have mentioned before, I use exercise and music to relax. I also read books and surf the internet. All of these things takes me away from stressful situations and help me get my mind back to a state in which I can deal again with life.*
Some Results: Afterwards, you will be clearer in your mind and able to come back and tackle your problem.

3. use up anger by physical activity. (Channel your anger into a job that needs doing or take a long walk or even play a game).

*Physical exercise is a great way of removing pent up aggression. Please walk away from a potential flash point. It never solves anything and only intensifies your loss as you lose either friends, family or even both. I know it is difficult but self-discipline is the only real option here.*
Some Results: You will "let go" of your anger instead of bottling it up, which causes more tension.

4. Give in to others - occasionally. (This is easier on your nervous system in the long-run and you're the one who counts. Only children stay obstinate and defiant all the time).

*This is so difficult to do because giving in also implies weakness and submission, both of which are hard things to do. Try this one occasionally and see how you feel! If it is a good feeling then try it again (but not all the time).*
Some Results: You will feel a relief from pressure and develop a stronger sense of maturity.

5. Do something for someone else. (Even a smile or a generous word is a good start. Add to this daily).

* It sounds crazy to do this and you can not see how this will benefit you, right? Well only after you have tried it and done it and continued to for some time can you see the benefits here. But they are worth doing. You do feel more fulfilled and can make friends and build relationships as well.*
Some Results: It will help you to feel less isolated with your worry and start to turn your thoughts outwards.

6. Deal with one thing at a time. (Select the urgent tasks first and get on with them. Forget the rest for the time being. Tension and worry makes even an ordinary day seem unbearable. This need not be a permanent state).

*This is a problem I had. When I worked as a chef offshore if I had work I had to do it all and all by myself. I felt I was indispensable and that no-one could cope without me. I never delegated and nearly had a complete breakdown as a result, as well as losing friends and alienating colleagues in the process.*
Some Results: This will help you achieve something and the other tasks will seem easier when you get around to them.

7. Try not to be a perfectionist in everything. (If you expect too much of yourself all of the time, you can create a constant state of worry and anxiety. So decide which things you do well and put your major efforts into these first).

*Oh boy! This was me. Still is if I let it (but I'm not quite such a compulsive perfectionist now). This is hard and I can not tell you how to change. You need to work this one out and fast. This would be my #1 in this list, so work on this. In the long run it really will help.*
Some Results: You will avoid an open invitation to yourself to fail and probably make life easier for yourself - and others.

8. Try not to be too critical of others - or yourself. (Concentrate on other people and your own good points and try to understand and develop them).

Some Results: You will probably feel frustrated and let-down by yourself and others.

9. Develop co-operation with others. Not competition. (Give the other man a chance. If you are no longer a threat to him, he stops being a threat to you).

*This is true but I guess I never looked at things in such a black & white manner?*
Some Results: You will have less emotional or physical tension over reaching goals (real or imaginary).

10. Make yourself available to others - make the first move occasionally. (Neither push too much or withdraw too much. Feelings of rejection and neglect are very painful but are often self-imposed).
*Again this is me. Always wanting to please and feeling very rejected when things turn out differently. I get paranoid and think that people are either laughing at me or avoiding me. I guess I withdraw as an automatic protective manner.*
Some Results: At least you will know you've made an effort and this will build your confidence.

11. Plan your recreation time. However short. (Allow some time for a hobby or recreation. Un-planned time often becomes wasted time. Make variety part of the planning).

*This links in nicely with some of the other tips. Try and get involved (if you can) with team sports or activities where there are other people around. I know first hand how hard this is (you will feel so much better about yourself if you can) and I am still struggling to do it myself (remember doing is not quite as easy as knowing). This is a very good tip so try it.*
Some Results: You will return to your work or your problem with a fresher outlook.

12. Learn methods of exercise and relaxation then practice them daily. (You are aiming to be in control of your body and learning how to counteract tension and anxiety).

*The best tip of them all. Sometimes though the hardest to do. It is not easy to relax when you are stressed and tense. It is better to try out different methods when you are not so stressed and tense and then use the ones that really help to relax you when you need them most. I use music and sport. It works for me so try it, what have you got to loose?*
Some Results: You will unlock tension in every part of your body and even prevent tension in the future.

If all else fails use my F bubble meditation a bit dated now but gets the point across.

Don't waste energy trying to empty your life of worrying things, when you could be filling your life with wholesome things.

If you need help, book a session call or text 07468119635