Wednesday 4 October 2017

The amazing yellow pill, Protandim by Derek McGillivray

What is Protandim?
  • Protandim is a supplement that combats oxidative stress through Nrf2 activation.
  • Oxidative stress happens in everyone.
  • Protandim significantly reduces oxidative stress through Nrf2 activation.
  • Nrf2 regulates survival genes.
Oxidative stress, generated through the process of living life (eating, sleeping, breathing, exercising), is inevitable for everyone, but LifeVantage has the solution: Protandim, the Nrf2 Synergizer, the most important dietary supplement of our time.Comprised of natural plant ingredients, Protandim is a patented, science-based,research-backed formula that has been tested and validated by renowned universities and institutions. It is the only supplement clinically proven to reduce oxidative stress in humans by an average of 40 percent in 30 days.
Protandim activates Nrf2, which communicates with cells, instructing them to do what they're already designed to do: up-regulate "survival genes," genes that enable cells to survive in the face of stress from free radicals and other oxidants, and down-regulates other genes to help the body function at an optimal level.

Protandim's Natural Ingredients

Milk -thistle _80x 80Milk Thistle Extract
Used for thousands of years to improve health.  

Bacopa -monnieri _80x 80Bacopa Extract
A serious free-radical scavenger.

Ashwagandha _80x 80Ashwagandha
Has important antioxidant properties.

Tumeric -longa _80x 80Turmeric Extract
Powerful contributor
to Protandim's Nrf2 activation.

Greentea 3_80x 80Green Tea Extract
Contains important antioxidants. 

Just try it!…/protandim/nrf2/

Why Free Radicals are Harmful to the Body

Free radicals are highly unstable, reactive molecules with an unsatisfied electron pair. They scavenge the body in search of electrons, thereby damaging cells, proteins and DNA.

Free radicals arise from both internal and external sources, including breathing, metabolism, inflammation, pollution, sunlight, exercise, smoking and consuming alcohol.

Oxidative stress occurs when free radicals are inadequately neutralized by the body's antioxidant defense system, or when they overwhelm antioxidants.
Protandim _pills _left

Oxidative Stress

An excess of free radicals causes oxidative stress.
Protandim is the most potent antioxidant therapy today.
Science articles demonstrate the importance of reducing oxidative stress.
In living life to the fullest our bodies generate oxidative stress--a physiological imbalance between free radicals and the body's antioxidant defense system.

Protandim is the most powerful antioxidant therapy today.

Oxidative stress occurs when our cells generate dangerous byproducts known as free radicals. Free radicals, highly reactive molecules with unpaired electrons, roam the body in search of other electrons and in the process, seek out and destroy healthy cells.

Free radicals arise from both internal and external sources, including breathing, metabolism, pollution, sunlight, exercise, smoking and consuming alcohol.

Protandim® NRF1 Synergizer 

is a breakthrough in nutrigenomics and the fight against ageing that uses ingredients to harness the energy of youth—mitochondria. A SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH FOR THE AGES With age comes wisdom and maturity.
That’s the upside. But you also get all the wrinkles, more aches, and overall lack of energy. Getting old isn’t easy. We get it. We also understand why. Thanks to breakthrough in nutrigenomics, we’re able to fight the signs of ageing at the cellular level—right where ageing occurs. It’s called Protandim NRF1 Synergizer, and it’s revolutionising health and wellness. THE MIGHTY MITOCHONDRIA Unfortunately, we still haven’t discovered the fountain of youth. But we finally understand why we age. Every day, your cells are damaged by free radicals from natural processes like breathing and from pollution in your environment and diet. This leads to oxidative stress and a breakdown of your health at a cellular level —one of the main contributing factors to the ageing process. One of the most crucial keys to slowing the harmful effects of ageing and restoring a youthful feeling to your body is living in your cells.

They’re called mitochondria. Mitochondria produce up to 95% of the energy your body uses. But those muscular, microscopic powerhouses break down as you age. It’s a natural part of oxidative stress. But fewer mitochondria don’t just mean less energy. Mitochondria also produce ATP (Adenosine Triphosphate)— the source of cellular energy that pumps our heart, supports muscle growth and maintains healthy brain function.


The idea is simple: produce new, more powerful mitochondria, and you’ll feel younger and more energetic from the inside out. And that’s where Protandim NRF1 Synergizer steps in. It’s a new breakthrough in nutrigenomics that wakes up your body’s ability to boost mitochondria production, protect the ones you have and restore youth to your body at the cellular level. Protandim NRF1 Synergizer, combined with the Protandim Nrf2 Synergizer, gives us a new way to improve cellular health and support healthy mitochondrial function as we age.*


  • Improve performance through energy production
  • Enhance cellular health—cells function at their peak performance
  • Improve sleep quality and promotes cellular repair 
  • Boost mitochondria production and their ability to network
  • Slows cellular ageing by supporting chromosome integrity


Rhodiola Rosea (Root) Extract — Rhodiola rosea L. is a plant from the Himalayas which contains bioactives (salidrosides) that stimulate NRF1 and mitochondrial biogenesis and helps protect the endothelial cells from oxidative damage. It also actively stimulates ATP synthesis or re-synthesis in muscles during exercise. It is an adaptogenic herb with a bioactive that stimulates the NRF1 protein. Rhodiola Rosea (Root) Extract is used around the world to increase resistance to fatigue and helps with high altitude adaptation.

Coenzyme Q10 — It is made in the body and resides primarily in mitochondria where it plays a key role in transporting electrons so ATP is made. So ingesting CoQ10 has 2 benefits: it is already made so it helps compensate when the aging body makes less of it and it carries electrons towards their final destination – the making of ATP. Combined with Alpha Lipoic Acid, it supports cellular energy levels, stress response and antioxidant defense mechanisms.

Alpha-Lipoic Acid — Alpha lipoic acid, or ALA, is made in the body and helps to turn glucose into energy that the cell can use. ALA is able to neutralize free radicals because of its thiol groups and because it is both fat and water soluble, it can protect all parts of the cell (including the mitochondria) from these free radicals. So ingesting ALA has 2 benefits: it is already made so it helps compensate when the aging body makes less of it and it neutralizes free radicals that escaped the path toward making ATP.

Grape Extract — This extract, made from the whole grape (seeds, pulp and skin), contains powerful natural polyphenols (flavanols) known to have anti-aging capabilities. The bioactives help activate the NRF1 protein and other anti-aging pathways.

Quercetin — Quercetin is a naturally occurring antioxidant, a flavonoid that is abundant in various fruits and vegetables. It is a NRF1 activator that promotes mitochondria biogenesis and helps prevent mitochondrial decay. Quercetin contains polyphenols that help to protect the mitochondria and their function which supports ATP synthesis.


According to Dr. Nathalie Chevreau (Senior VP Research & Development), the directions for use are as follows:

Take NRF1 Synergizer first thing in the morning with water or coffee with creamer/milk.

Take Nrf2 Synergizer at least 30 minutes later with food.

Here is the reasoning behind these recommendations –

The CoQ10 found in Protandim NRF1 Synergizer is best absorbed when in the presence of fat (from the creamer or milk in your coffee). So for best results, take NRF1 with a small amount of fat. But for those of you that are on a calorie-restricted diet and would prefer to take the supplement with water, feel free as you will still absorb some of the CoQ10 without fat present.

Protandim Nrf2 Synergizer contains 3 ingredients that are best absorbed in the presence of fat – turmeric, milk thistle and bacopa. So, to absorb the greatest amount of nutrients from the Nrf2 supplement we recommend taking it with food.

The 30 minutes between intake of Protandim NRF1 and Nfr2 allows for the nutrients in NRF1 to be absorbed into the bloodstream where they can take effect (aka begin their signaling duties) before the nutrients from Nrf2 are introduced into the system. This ensures that each supplement can provide the greatest benefit by minimizing the potential of any interference between nutrients found in each product.

That being said, the results from the observational pilot study showed that those taking Protandim NRF1 and Nrf2 simultaneously (without the 30 minutes in between) still saw significant improvements. Therefore, when it comes to taking the two supplements, find the way that works best for you.

Do your own research and if you want to order pleace contact us or click the links

Just try it!…/protandim/nrf2/

Monday 17 April 2017

Life never stays the same, so embrace change as part of your life!

Fear of change? In my life I've had to come out of comfort zones, enforced change by no fault of my own, life throws you stuff unexpectedly. But when we look back the lessons we learn, the new skills, and the confidence you gain is worth no amount of money, but its worth as much as a pot of gold, plus we gain the strength from within. So if you need to change or accept change, do it with an open mind and embrace the new experiences with a strong heart and a determined positive mind!

I know its not easy to accept change but in order to accept change we have to look at what we do now?

How many of us have got into the habit of waking up and looking at our phones, Facebook, and so on. We don't allow ourselves time to fully wake up, we get back into that stress fullness behaviour straight away. If we tried just to listen to soft music or to the sounds of nature outside, Kids playing and talking, sitting down to eat a proper breakfast. Not the news and all the heavy stuff on TVs and phones especially if you know you have a busy day ahead at work, why take on the worlds problems as well, when you have your own stuff to deal with, focus on what you can influence on the day.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

Being bullied is not change!

Don't be bullied into doing what you don't want to do!
very often I get clients who are stressed and burnt out as they don't know how to say no.
What I can suggest you say instead is

Sorry that doesn't work for me just now!
I am Fine we say to our friends.
Let's define FINE
F Frustrated
I indecisive
N Neurotic
E Exhausted

So by saying just fine, we are really saying we are not happy.
so look at what you can change! Your attitude for one.

As all things are created by our thoughts let's start with a Happy thought.
Define HAPPY
H Healthy
A Abundant
P Persistent
P Positive
Y Youthful
Fine is not good enough.

We are what we think we are, so be HAPPY and think happy thoughts, 

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

You have to believe to receive!

When we have to have purpose in our life it makes change easier, We have to have a why sometimes.

Ifs it about money or lack of as often change can mean less money, think about this.

Let's just say Sod it to all our money issues and have no judgement around money and just accepting things as they are.

Money is just an exchange, imagine a world with out money, if what you have to offer is worth enough to other people, then they'll give you lots of things in return E,G I need flowers in my garden in return or painting done so that's what my exchange would be I would then have loads of nice colours around me making me happy, which I would value.

We are simply in a constant process of exchange for value with the world, the more the world values you the more you get back, what tends to happen is that the more you value yourself, the more the rest of the world will tend to agree and value you as well. 
Very often as a way of getting into a new company I would offer to work for free, as I knew my worth, I changed my thought and just thought about working there and enjoying it before I even thought about the money, very often it worked out better than, than what was being offered anyway, as they seen my added value.

So start by valuing yourself because you're worth it!

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

Now write your contract to yourself like this below

My “Contract for Change” with myself

I, …………………………………………………… take personal responsibility

for creating change within my life. I will begin the PROJECT(S) called




and formally make a contract with myself to see this project through. I have

listed the benefits of living in the solution and I know who I need to become

to complete this project, and I hereby declare that I will commence living in

the solution and being the person I need to be.

Signed: ………………………………………………………………………

Witnessed: ………………………………………………………………………

Dated: ………………………………………………………………………

You need to see it first, one of the tools I use is

Letter from the Future

Write a letter from the future, describing what your life is like now that you have achieved your goals successfully. Do it for each goal Address it to yourself with the date that it is to be achieved. Tell yourself in detail how your life looks, feels, and who you have become as a person at the time of achieving your goal. Remember to write down what you need in your life as much as you want, Take your time.

By doing this your already setting it up in your mind and letting the universe deliver it.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

My intuitive life coaching sessions are for the purpose of helping you with any challenges that you may currently have or are facing. I also use my skills and tools to help you help yourself, whether it's spiritual guidance, relationship advice, employment advice, goal setting, loose weight, overcome fears & phobia's or just general guidance in life.

I hold a Diploma in Life coaching, have a great track record of assisting my clients achieve their goals, with my experience of business & personal mentoring and industrial relations, I can be that neutral person that can see the issues and challenges with in your personal life or the organisations you run or work with, that you cant see and assist in achieving solutions that can move you in the right direction.

"I love helping people help themselves, to be unsuccessful is not an option, to achieve success is my only goal." DMcG

Tel 07468119635

Friday 27 January 2017

7 Tips for Dealing With Rejection

Dealing with rejection can be painful, whether it happens at work, at home, at school or in relationships.

Never allow others negative behaviours to put you off, your goals and dreams, just send them healing in the future as you will achieve great deeds by being positive, determined and loving person you are.

Rejection comes in many forms and it can be tempting to wallow in self-pity and despair when we have been rejected. Fortunately, there are things we can do that can help us handle rejection with dignity and purpose. Everyone experiences rejection – it is what we do in response that determines how we feel about ourselves. Rejection is scary, because it reminds us that we cannot control people and circumstances. Here are a few ideas of things we can do to overcome the rejection blues.

Be Aware of Your Emotions
Rejection is a form of loss, creating the sense of losing something we thought we had. Being rejected can feel like an outright violation of our expectations, which is why many of us feel offended when we are rejected. When the rejection is very painful or unexpected, it can be scary, making us feel as though the world we live in is unsafe and malevolent. When things do not go the way we expect, we often feel devastated and powerless, especially if we are very attached to a particular outcome.
We can acknowledge our loss, reminding ourselves that our feelings are never unacceptable or wrong, but they are also not entirely true. No matter how extreme or violent our feelings might seem, though, it is important to give ourselves the opportunity to experience them. Anger, sadness and disappointment are all natural responses when dealing with rejection. We can allow for our feelings, whatever they are, without holding onto them. We can let them come, and let them go.

Practice Acceptance
When rejection occurs, one of the ways many of us automatically respond is with denial. We may tell ourselves that this is not happening or that this is all a mistake that will soon be corrected. Denial is a mechanism of self-defence. We deny that something unpleasant is happening because the reality is too painful. We can gently correct ourselves by saying, "This is happening, and it will be okay. This does not mean that I am a bad person or that I have done something wrong."

Talk to Someone You Trust
Another common impulse when dealing with rejection is to isolate and to cut ourselves off from support. This is another way that we unconsciously try to protect ourselves from more pain. Many of us equate relationships (revealing ourselves to others in work, love, family and friendships) with the disappointment that sometimes occurs in those relationships.

Take Action and Get Moving
It does not matter what we do, only that we take action and get moving. We can do dishes, pay bills, organise or finish up that work report we have been neglecting. Purposeful movement clears the mind of the stagnant energy and negative emotions that hang around when we are dealing with rejection. This is a perfect time to do something we have been putting off.

We are probably thinking, "What’s the use? I will still be miserable, and it will not change the fact that I have been dumped/passed over for that promotion/turned down by my number-one choice for college or school." We can choose to think about it differently. We can be heartbroken in a messy living room that makes us feel even more miserable, or we can take constructive action that will likely lift our spirits and self-esteem.

Action has a wonderful way of breeding self-confidence and feelings of empowerment. You will feel less like a victim of your circumstances when you take action in an area you can actually control. Though it may sound like torture to suggest cleaning a closet after what feels like the most painful breakup in history the sooner we get moving, the better we will feel.

It is okay to resist for a while. As soon as we are ready, we can give it a try. If it still seems like an insurmountable, useless task, we can make a deal with ourselves to try it out for fifteen minutes. If we want to stop after 15 minutes, we can stop. But we usually find that the momentum of positive, productive energy created in just those 15 minutes is sufficient to make us want to keep going.

Be Kind to Yourself
One of the best times to do something nice for ourselves is when we are dealing with rejection. This serves a dual purpose: we get to do something enjoyable, and in so doing, we also prove to ourselves that we are worth the effort and attention. We can buy ourselves a special gift or get a massage, manicure and pedicure. We can set aside a day in the coming week to do whatever we want to do, whether that means browsing in a bookstore all afternoon sipping coffee, or losing ourselves in an art project. Planning ahead for "me" time brings with it the gift of something to look forward to, which makes difficult situations infinitely more bearable.

Be Kind to Someone Else
What it does mean, however, is that our thoughts colour our experiences. We have the power to use past success as evidence that future success is possible and, indeed, probable.

Rejection is a bitter pill to swallow. But its purpose is not gratuitous pain. If we have relationships with other people and if we regularly take risks, rejection is inevitable. Like any experience, rejection teaches a valuable lesson that we simply cannot learn any other way. We can always choose to see that value, although it may be difficult at first. Dealing with rejection in one area of life can teach us to deal more gracefully with our next experience of rejection in a completely different area. Lessons like these build on themselves. We can use our past experiences of rejection to make our future experiences less painful.

Whether it is a pet, a relative or a stranger, this strategy is particularly effective for coping with rejection. Focusing on someone else’s needs for a time reminds us that we are not the centre of the universe, and that our disappointments are not as devastating and all-encompassing as we make them out to be. Perhaps someone we love is ill, confined to home or hospital bed. We can ask if there is anything we might help that person with, being grateful for our health and our ability to offer help.

Feeling useful is a fail safe cure for self-pity. We can call a friend and ask how she is, without mentioning or complaining about our circumstances. Take the dog for an extra-long walk, or spend time snuggling with the cat – such small, loving actions centre us, bring us great comfort and remind us that we matter to other beings.

Reaffirm Your Successes
Rejection can make us feel as though we are failing, and can even lead us to falsely assume that not only have we failed, we are complete failures. Reminding ourselves of specific successes is a great way to remember our assets and accomplishments during a time when we are tempted to focus only on the negative. By focusing on the positive, we give it power in our minds, in our actions and ultimately in our circumstances. This does not mean that thinking positively will ensure that we never experience disappointment.

If you need help to get back on track book a private session with Derek Book Now! or Email

Thursday 5 January 2017

Happy New year from A Happy Medium, Derek McGillivray.

Create some Magic this year!!

My card for the first week in Jan is Review and Contemplation
It's about living in the present and making the most of what you have and being thankful you have a new year to live life to the full. Find the real you and be that wonderful loving person you are, create new positive thoughts that bring all you need in life. Happy New Year x

Derek's events for this month.
Click here to book a session or text/call 07468119635

 It's what we don't see but feel that matters in life, do we see love? not always. Can we feel it ? All the time, if we open up our hearts. Take that time out today use my 3 Rs rewind, review and then re engage in life. Live in the now be grateful you are fit and healthy to make the changes you need to, see the challenges as opportunities to grow and learn. If you need help or a push contact me and let me help you find that happy medium in life.

"My heroes are the ones who survived doing it wrong, who made mistakes, and recovered from them." We all make mistakes. The difference is how you look at the mistake. Do you learn from it, do you take action to correct it? Your attitude towards any mistakes you make will make a big difference in your life. Keep a positive outlook, learn from your mistakes, and don't hesitate to take action to correct mistakes you have made. So stop reviewing last year now! learn and move on with love in our hearts ! Say your sorry, forgive yourself and start with a clean sheet. If you need help call me 07468119635

I always send healing to all those that have hurt me or abused my good nature as I feel they need it more than me, I learn to forgive but I don't forgive others negative actions as that's is for them to forgive. I try my best to help others everyday not just at this time of year, yet there will still be others who abuse my good nature at this time of year, promise good things for myself and others, let me down at last min. Etc I still carry on thou and do what I do, giving out love as I know it comes back maybe not from the person we sent it to but your true friends who call you when down but not out, who speak to you as if we were just speaking yesterday, who make you laugh and not bring up the bad stuff, only the great memories you shared. Christmas is about giving unconditionally and I send my love unconditionally to all my friends and family and also to those that have hurt me I send love to so that one day you may see that love is more powerful than your negative attitude towards others! 
If you need help call me 07468119635

This 2017 is a one year in numerology as year of change and new beginnings is linked to the Magician card. The Magician's number is One, the number of creation and individuality; his power is transformation through the use of his will. In his manipulation of the basic elements into all the substances and materials of life, he shows us that from a foundation of the mundane can emerge all that is to come. He can take the Nothing from which the Fool emerged and shape it into Something, making one out of zero. Clearly this is power of a divine sort, and it is true that the Magician is a conduit for a higher power, which commands all of the material world. Since all that we can see in the physical world is the conduit himself, the acts he performs often seem like magic.

The Magician may seem like a strange title for someone who holds real power, because the word "magician" tends to conjure up pictures of illusionists and escape artists, whose power involves sleight of hand and misdirection. The Magician, however, is similar to the stage illusionist in many ways. He is confident in his skills and his ability to produce the effects that he wants. His real power comes from sources outside of him, and he is powerless without these sources, just as an illusionist depends on people "behind the scenes". Both magician and Magician, however, are as important to their powers are the powers are to them. Without a conduit, power itself is impotent and useless.

With his powers the Magician holds influence over all - theory and practice, logic and emotion, thought and action. Almost every modern depiction of the Magician includes one or more symbols of infinity to denote his limitless power; the snake eating its tail and the lemniscate (horizontal figure-eight) being chief among these. This limitless power comes from sources outside his body yet under his control. And as long as the Magician remembers that this power is his to command, even if he loses all of his worldly power and skill he can never truly be called powerless. For his Will is a power that, while it can be subdued, it can never be destroyed.

Another nearly universal association with the Magician is the red-and-white color scheme. This theme recurs throughout the Tarot and it is very symbolic that it starts with this card and not the Fool. For while the Fool was the potential for positive and negative, the Magician is the union of positive and negative. He creates and he preserves; he destroys and he redeems. His true power is that he not only knows what he must do, but he knows how he must do it, and why he must do it. Then he does it. The Magician reminds us that a wish alone will change nothing, but a decision can change everything. A desire to create is nothing without an ability to create, and vice-versa.

When the Magician appears he shows that you are ready to become a conduit for power, like he is. The forces of creation and destruction have always been at your command but now you have the wisdom and confidence needed to use them constructively. Now is the time to act, if you know what is it you want to accomplish and why. Since the powers of transformation are at your command, change your desires into objectives, your thoughts into actions, your goals into achievements. If you have recently met with failure, now you can change that failure into success as easily as the Magician changes fire into water. The only limits you have are those you impose on yourself.

The outward manifestations of such power are as numerous as they are varied, but the most common outer effect of the Magician's influence is un swaying and total confidence. The realisation that the world is under your control is what inspires this kind of confidence, and with good reason. So go out into the world, set your mind to whatever goal you are interested in, and then just stand back and watch as everything falls into place under your command. Ultimately, the message of the Magician is a simple one despite his limitless and infinitely complex power. Your life is under your control. Your life is what you want it to be. Your life is what you make it.

Keep positive and if you need help book an appointment.

Derek is going live on Radio worldwide

SATURDAY 12 NOON (UK time) LIVE IN OPENCIRCLE ITS Derek McGillivray Joining us for a Chatrooms Special , introducing his work and love of Spirit, some readings and yes , his up coming further sessions in SOC ,, Short notice I know but this is on NOT to Miss! see Events for ya own Time Zone check
London Saturday, 7 January 2017 at 12:00:00

Saturday 12 November 2016

Turning being lonely into a positive.

Being alone doesn't need to be a negative, you! yes you! can turn it into a positive!
Yes we all at times like to have that space and be alone, but when its forced on us we often fear it, we have gotten used to being with a certain person or family members, but life can change that, very quickly, kids grow up, people leave us unexpectedly, we loose that job and so on.
don't panic you can deal with being alone and you can change the situation to being positive, it can take time its up to you!

Lets look at the different types of being alone, 

Being alone is not the same as being lonely. There is nothing wrong with being on your own if you are comfortable with it.

People usually describe feeling lonely for one of two reasons, they simply don't see or talk to anyone very often, even though they are surrounded by people, they don't feel understood or cared for.

Deciding which is the case for you may help you to find a way of feeling better.

I always turn being lonely into a positive and use that time to plan and also process what has happen to make me feel lonely, we can all get depressed and down when alone and it can sometimes turn into a metal health issue, so stop and think about what you can do now to feel better.

If your in a relationship or job where you feel alone then take action!

Join a trade union, speak to personnel, marriage guidance, go online look for groups to join, 

Communicate how you feel, be assertive, very often we don't like saying no.

I say if I don't want to do something because I feel that I need a bit of space is just say "sorry that doesn't work for me today"

There are many situations where we can struggle with being alone and feel afraid, very often we find that we aren't alone in being alone.

Let's face it life can give us some really difficult challenges often when we don't expect it, we can feel alone, sad and frustrated. Then all of a sudden we get that energy inside to get us though that difficult time, but that energy inside us, is always there and is abundant, it's called love and light. Connect to yours today, feel that love and let it drive you through the challenges of life. Just say "I am made from love and light, I do have enough energy to overcome my challenges"

Using Open questions helps you connect to others.

When we take that step and join a club or go somewhere to meet new people we have to learn to communicate, engage in open communication by asking open questions. try and avoid using closed questions as this stops the flow and we may loose interest and go back to our quiet selves and hide. We then go back to feeling lonely and we don't move forward.

Closed questions


There are two definitions that are used to describe closed questions. A common definition is:

A closed question can be answered with either a single word or a short phrase.

Thus 'How old are you?' and 'Where do you live?' are closed questions. A more limiting definition that is sometimes used is:

A closed question can be answered with either 'yes' or 'no'.

By this definition 'Are you happy?' and 'Is that a knife I see before me?' are closed questions, whilst 'What time is it?' and 'How old are you?' are not. This causes a problem of how to classify the short-answer non-yes-or-no questions, which do not fit well with the definition for open questions. A way of handling this is to define 'yes-no' as a sub-class of the short-answer closed question.
Using closed questions

Closed questions have the following characteristics:
They give you facts.
They are easy to answer.
They are quick to answer.
They keep control of the conversation with the questioner.

This makes closed questions useful in the following situations:

As opening questions in a conversation, as it makes it easy for the other person to answer, and doesn't force them to reveal too much about themselves.
It's great weather, isn't it?
Where do you live?
What time is it?
For testing their understanding (asking yes/no questions). This is also a great way to break into a long ramble.
So, you want to move into our apartment, with your own bedroom and bathroom -- true?  
For setting up a desired positive or negative frame of mind in them (asking successive questions with obvious answers either yes or no ).
Are you happy with your current supplier?
Do they give you all that you need?
Would you like to find a better supplier?
For achieving closure of a persuasion (seeking yes to the big question).If I can deliver this tomorrow, will you sign for it now?

Note how you can turn any opinion into a closed question that forces a yes or no by adding tag questions, such as "isn't it?", "don't you?" or "can't they?", to any statement.

The first word of a question sets up the dynamic of the closed question and signals the easy answer ahead. Note how these are words like: do, would, are, will, if.
If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

Open questions


An open question can be defined thus:

An open question is likely to receive a long answer.

Although any question can receive a long answer, open questions deliberately seek longer answers, and are the opposite of closed questions.
Using open questions

Open questions have the following characteristics:
They ask the respondent to think and reflect.
They will give you opinions and feelings.
They hand control of the conversation to the respondent.

This makes open questions useful in the following situations:

As a follow-on from closed questions, to develop a conversation and open up someone who is rather quiet.
What did you do on you holidays? 
How do you keep focused on your work?
To find out more about a person, their wants, needs, problems, and so on.What's keeping you awake these days?
Why is that so important to you?
To get people to realise the extend of their problems (to which, of course, you have the solution).I wonder what would happen if your customers complained even more?
Rob Jones used to go out late. What happened to him? 
To get them to feel good about you by asking after their health or otherwise demonstrating human concern about them.How have you been after your operation?
You're looking down. What's up?
Open questions begin with such as: what, why, how, describe.
Using open questions can be scary, as they seem to hand the baton of control over to the other person. However, well-placed questions do leave you in control as you steer their interest and engage them where you want them.
When opening conversations, a good balance is around three closed questions to one open question. The closed questions start the conversation and summarise progress, whilst the open question gets the other person thinking and continuing to give you useful information about them.
A neat trick is to get them to ask you open questions. This then gives you the floor to talk about what you want. The way to achieve this is to intrigue them with an incomplete story or benefit.

Being lonely at night time.

A lot of my clients have problems at night time and find it hard to sleep as they worry about being alone, especially after the loss of a loved one, or the break up of a relationship. It takes time to adjust and often counselling can help, being more relaxed, Reading positive books, watching funny programs, write down ideas, I used to go for a drive and get out of the house, avoid caffeine etc. get advice on that, see your doctor, nurse etc

Its trial and error what works for others may not work for you.

All you folk who have a troubled mind tonight just relax and let the Angels take over for a while. just feel yourself happy or what it's like to be happy remember a time you felt happy, and feel it now and how good it is to be happy, this Happy medium is now happy your happy, and if your not happy reading my happy post by now, then you will be happy as all this is trying to do is let you feel how happy I am you have read my happy post. If you can't get happy then just say sod this unhappy feeling I have and by now the universe is working on making you happy lol
 Night all for Christ sake be happy !!!!
 Happy dreams! 

How mediation can help you over come loneliness. 

Meditation, means being 'pleasantly anchored in the present moment'. With the hectic lifestyle people live in today, stress is a strong contributor to heart disease and high blood pressure. This is why it is important to learn to relax and relax our body. And this can be achieved through meditation. Meditation is easy for us to incorporate into our lives.

Meditation is becoming more and more popular every day and there is a reason behind this. Scientists study it; doctors recommend it and millions of people all over the world practice it every day. Why? Because meditation works. Meditation is not just a matter of belief or disbelief. Meditation can improve our achievements and it can help us,we can develop hidden talents and capabilities that we had forgotten we possess. Achieve more with less effort - that is the essence of Meditation.

Meditations can completely relax our body and mind and it can also make our brain more alert and make our heart relax. It refreshes us completely and gets us ready for another batch of work. It also helps us block out any distractions that may come across our way.

You don’t have to sit with knees crossed or anything funny, we all meditate at certain times of the day, like when were doing the Ironing, cooking, reading etc

So use that time when you feel lonely to meditate or try mindfulness, often this gives as an incite to ourselves and you may even enjoy it, this doesn't have to be done alone, there are groups and very often classes where you can be given guided meditations to start with.

There are lots of books on it and lots of CDs best to find you own way to meditate and just relax.

If you have a dream

Don't wait for some distant day to come,
it may be too late before you've even begun.
Not everyone will agree with all you decide.
Be true to yourself first and foremost.

The only important thing in life is what you do
with the time you spend here on Earth.
Don't be afraid to follow your desires,
they are not silly nor selfish.

Take the time and do what makes you feel alive.
Leave your fears and regrets in the past,
for this is where they belong.
Don't cloud today with things that can't be undone.
You have no more control over yesterday or tomorrow,
than you do the raging of your passions.

Do not quiet these dreams nor quench your desires.
For if you do, your journey is ended.
You have only today to begin anew and follow your dreams.

For in the end all we have are our memories.
When the twilight comes to us, let there be,
No excuses, no explanations, no regrets!


Remember to laugh and what made you laugh, remember what worked in the past, when you were lonely before, avoid the comfort zones i.e. eating and drinking to much just to cheer yourself up, if that is what you enjoy, ask people round, go see others, join a befriend group, often helping others you can help yourself. do that course you have always wanted to do, use that lonely time in a constructive way.

I really don't want to see you or help you get rid of an additive behaviour like Gambling and drinking as you aren't facing up to things, when we do that, have a list of things you can do when you feel lonely, hand write it as it helps to log it in to your subconscious mind. Stay focused on your well being and never be afraid to ask for help!

OK things happen out with your control, and we say why me? You have the ability to overcome the challenges, just laugh let go of all the stress, take a deep breath and feel that laughter come back and feel that energy inside saying, sod this! Time to accept and move forward.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

some useful web sites

Thursday 10 November 2016

Change and comfort zones

Change is always around us and its how we deal with it, what the last few months and days have proved is, we all need at times to come out of our comfort zones and accept what has happened and move forward the mainstream media and poles would have had us believe that although the Brexit vote would be close, there was little doubt that, come the 23rd June, the British would opt for the ‘safe’ option and choose to stay in the European Union.

Well it didn’t happen! 

We were assured that in the US, despite Donald Trump’s unlikely success in the race for the Republican party nomination, he was painted by most media as little more than a buffoon, he would stand little chance against the ‘safe pair of hands’, Hillary Clinton, in Tuesday’s election. Even though I was not impressed by either, I did feel change was coming.

Come out of the castle you have built around yourself, and experience the new and wonderful, don't let the fear of change stop you from moving forward, embrace the new love and light your letting in!

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

Many people have been shocked and dismayed by the unexpected change of these ballots. It doesn’t matter what side of the fence you were on we must accept that change is here, it’s like when I was a union official someone would come in and say “They can’t sack me!” Well I would say "You just have been it’s what you do about it now that matters."

Other, more nationalistic types have been overjoyed at the prospect of pulling up the drawbridge (or in America’s case, laying down a wall) to stop the slow ‘immigratory’ rot that they feel has set in and which threatens their proud heritage.
Some, like me, are somewhat bemused and rather curious about these interesting developments. While not holding a candle for any of the main personalities involved, I prefer to see these event as signalling the beginning of fundamental change to the established world order. 

No matter how you feel about Donald Trump’s victory or about Britain exiting the European Union, you must admit that people, the world over, are emboldened, hungry for change and ready to stick their necks above the establishment parapet like never seen before, even when you look back at other events like the Berlin wall being pulled down, change around the world is coming like it or not!

So, what is life coach like me doing talking about these events?

Donald had a dream and a goal and he set out to achieve it, he had to overcome obstacles and come out of comfort zones.

I am keeping an open mind on him and I will be looking with interest to what happens next, but hey well done, not someone I would have voted for.

The point I am getting at is we can all achieve great things, even when we are forced into a change, i.e. a loss of job, divorce, being a single parent like I was.

Part of the philosophy that underpins life coaching is that people hold the power to liberate themselves emotionally and spiritually, within and yet we have been deeply conditioned to believe that very little of that which we call our lives is under our control.

The result of this conditioning shows up in a society that looks to the outside world for approval, affirmation and respect. We have come to understand success as a concept that can be measured by the quantity and quality of the material possessions and monetary wealth we can display to others rather than the degree of happiness and fulfilment we feel within.

"Success doesn't always mean being rich or having lots of material gains, success to me means doing something now that has a positive effect on the greater good of us all. As what we do today affects what happens in the future"

I have neither the desire nor the time and space in this post to engage in an overly philosophical discussion about what we, in life coaching, call conscious and unconscious living, so let’s just say that whereas the ego is concerned with upholding and protecting the identity that we present to the external world, the inner being is concerned only with following the path or purpose that we came to this earth to do and which will bring joy, meaning and satisfaction to our lives.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

My biggest saying to my clients are follow your own gut feelings, it’s not always the best paid job that offers the most rewards, I could easy of been a great sales man or took jobs abroad in catering but I get more joy and feel more satisfaction from staying with my kids and supporting them growing up, I have also had the privilege to develop my skills to assist others and when I see others succeed, I feel great joy, that money can’t buy, like that first win we had after 3 years when I was chair of Fort William football club

One of the great goals being scored when I was chairman of Fort William FC.

Although society’s definition of success may still be firmly rooted in access to material possessions, there are some strong signs that we are beginning to question the wisdom of doing things the way they have always been done and believing things that our parents and their parents have taught us to believe.

The information age has ushered in a social media revolution that has made people around the world more connected in real time than ever before. At the press of a button, for example, this blog post can be shared with anyone, anywhere!

This new super-connectivity is a catalyst that is helping to erode the pillars of established thinking and established practice. People are, more than ever before, starting to listen to their inner voices and think for themselves rather than allowing the established order to do so for them.

This means we start looking at our learned behaviours and taking a new look at what we have be told, we start to read between the lines and see the truth different than what is being said. as in life coaching we help you look at your learnt behaviours and ask are they the behaviours you still need or want?  Its like when we look at helping someone stop smoking or loose weight, we ask what makes you eat the big cake? etc and we then establish learned behaviours, copping mechanisms and so on.

Then its the coming out of that COMFORT ZONE. and embracing change. 
Turning the negative into a positive is something I love to do, its hard and needs practice, determination and most of all desire.

I have said in previous blogs that preparation is important that means setting small goals first, look at what you can influence now, even a small step leads to many more small steps, planing is good but plans can change or be changed unexpectedly that can put us out of our comfort zones, so rather than fear it embrace change, learn what you can to influence it in your favour.

Through change we grow!

There is always something we can do, when we are forced to change, I remember coming to Fort William on a visit to my Mothers where I got a phone call, from the social services that I had to take my son full time, also 

 I didn't know what to do at first and asked my mother and we ended up staying with my mother having to move from Aberdeen and stay in Fort William as I had more support from the family, that meant I had to look for work and what I could do, no high paying jobs here, so after getting all the benefits sorted out, I got involved in the local community by volunteering  to be a mentor for a local charity and got training and though that met some great people and used my skills to help others, in return I managed to get grants and help to set up which was more of a hobby the A Happy Medium web site and gain the confidence to use my skills to help others and earn some money at the same time the rest is history, did I have to come out of my comfort zones yes and it was not always easy.  

Its better to do something than nothing, the joy I get from helping others over the years from Football teams and business mentor etc is so rewarding and self fulling, yes we all love to get paid to do it, but sometimes the respect you gain from helping others just because you want to, opens the door to even more fantastic opportunities with the finical rewards as well.

So get out there and face up to change, never let change get you down embrace it and the learnings from it good or bad but move forward, if you need help contact me.