Monday, 17 April 2017

Life never stays the same, so embrace change as part of your life!



Fear of change? In my life I've had to come out of comfort zones, enforced change by no fault of my own, life throws you stuff unexpectedly. But when we look back the lessons we learn, the new skills, and the confidence you gain is worth no amount of money, but its worth as much as a pot of gold, plus we gain the strength from within. So if you need to change or accept change, do it with an open mind and embrace the new experiences with a strong heart and a determined positive mind!

I know its not easy to accept change but in order to accept change we have to look at what we do now?

How many of us have got into the habit of waking up and looking at our phones, Facebook, and so on. We don't allow ourselves time to fully wake up, we get back into that stress fullness behaviour straight away. If we tried just to listen to soft music or to the sounds of nature outside, Kids playing and talking, sitting down to eat a proper breakfast. Not the news and all the heavy stuff on TVs and phones especially if you know you have a busy day ahead at work, why take on the worlds problems as well, when you have your own stuff to deal with, focus on what you can influence on the day.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!


Being bullied is not change!

Don't be bullied into doing what you don't want to do!
very often I get clients who are stressed and burnt out as they don't know how to say no.
What I can suggest you say instead is

Sorry that doesn't work for me just now!
I am Fine we say to our friends.
Let's define FINE
F Frustrated
I indecisive
N Neurotic
E Exhausted

So by saying just fine, we are really saying we are not happy.
so look at what you can change! Your attitude for one.



As all things are created by our thoughts let's start with a Happy thought.
Define HAPPY
H Healthy
A Abundant
P Persistent
P Positive
Y Youthful
Fine is not good enough.

We are what we think we are, so be HAPPY and think happy thoughts, 

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

You have to believe to receive!

When we have to have purpose in our life it makes change easier, We have to have a why sometimes.




Ifs it about money or lack of as often change can mean less money, think about this.

Let's just say Sod it to all our money issues and have no judgement around money and just accepting things as they are.

Money is just an exchange, imagine a world with out money, if what you have to offer is worth enough to other people, then they'll give you lots of things in return E,G I need flowers in my garden in return or painting done so that's what my exchange would be I would then have loads of nice colours around me making me happy, which I would value.

We are simply in a constant process of exchange for value with the world, the more the world values you the more you get back, what tends to happen is that the more you value yourself, the more the rest of the world will tend to agree and value you as well. 
Very often as a way of getting into a new company I would offer to work for free, as I knew my worth, I changed my thought and just thought about working there and enjoying it before I even thought about the money, very often it worked out better than, than what was being offered anyway, as they seen my added value.

So start by valuing yourself because you're worth it!

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

Now write your contract to yourself like this below

My “Contract for Change” with myself



I, …………………………………………………… take personal responsibility

for creating change within my life. I will begin the PROJECT(S) called

……………………………………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………………………………

and formally make a contract with myself to see this project through. I have

listed the benefits of living in the solution and I know who I need to become

to complete this project, and I hereby declare that I will commence living in

the solution and being the person I need to be.

Signed: ………………………………………………………………………

Witnessed: ………………………………………………………………………

Dated: ………………………………………………………………………

You need to see it first, one of the tools I use is


Letter from the Future

Write a letter from the future, describing what your life is like now that you have achieved your goals successfully. Do it for each goal Address it to yourself with the date that it is to be achieved. Tell yourself in detail how your life looks, feels, and who you have become as a person at the time of achieving your goal. Remember to write down what you need in your life as much as you want, Take your time.

By doing this your already setting it up in your mind and letting the universe deliver it.


If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!


My intuitive life coaching sessions are for the purpose of helping you with any challenges that you may currently have or are facing. I also use my skills and tools to help you help yourself, whether it's spiritual guidance, relationship advice, employment advice, goal setting, loose weight, overcome fears & phobia's or just general guidance in life.

I hold a Diploma in Life coaching, have a great track record of assisting my clients achieve their goals, with my experience of business & personal mentoring and industrial relations, I can be that neutral person that can see the issues and challenges with in your personal life or the organisations you run or work with, that you cant see and assist in achieving solutions that can move you in the right direction.

"I love helping people help themselves, to be unsuccessful is not an option, to achieve success is my only goal." DMcG

Tel 07468119635
email derek@ahappymedium.co.uk

Friday, 27 January 2017

7 Tips for Dealing With Rejection


Dealing with rejection can be painful, whether it happens at work, at home, at school or in relationships.

Never allow others negative behaviours to put you off, your goals and dreams, just send them healing in the future as you will achieve great deeds by being positive, determined and loving person you are.

Rejection comes in many forms and it can be tempting to wallow in self-pity and despair when we have been rejected. Fortunately, there are things we can do that can help us handle rejection with dignity and purpose. Everyone experiences rejection – it is what we do in response that determines how we feel about ourselves. Rejection is scary, because it reminds us that we cannot control people and circumstances. Here are a few ideas of things we can do to overcome the rejection blues.


Be Aware of Your Emotions
Rejection is a form of loss, creating the sense of losing something we thought we had. Being rejected can feel like an outright violation of our expectations, which is why many of us feel offended when we are rejected. When the rejection is very painful or unexpected, it can be scary, making us feel as though the world we live in is unsafe and malevolent. When things do not go the way we expect, we often feel devastated and powerless, especially if we are very attached to a particular outcome.
We can acknowledge our loss, reminding ourselves that our feelings are never unacceptable or wrong, but they are also not entirely true. No matter how extreme or violent our feelings might seem, though, it is important to give ourselves the opportunity to experience them. Anger, sadness and disappointment are all natural responses when dealing with rejection. We can allow for our feelings, whatever they are, without holding onto them. We can let them come, and let them go.



Practice Acceptance
When rejection occurs, one of the ways many of us automatically respond is with denial. We may tell ourselves that this is not happening or that this is all a mistake that will soon be corrected. Denial is a mechanism of self-defence. We deny that something unpleasant is happening because the reality is too painful. We can gently correct ourselves by saying, "This is happening, and it will be okay. This does not mean that I am a bad person or that I have done something wrong."

Talk to Someone You Trust
Another common impulse when dealing with rejection is to isolate and to cut ourselves off from support. This is another way that we unconsciously try to protect ourselves from more pain. Many of us equate relationships (revealing ourselves to others in work, love, family and friendships) with the disappointment that sometimes occurs in those relationships.

Take Action and Get Moving
It does not matter what we do, only that we take action and get moving. We can do dishes, pay bills, organise or finish up that work report we have been neglecting. Purposeful movement clears the mind of the stagnant energy and negative emotions that hang around when we are dealing with rejection. This is a perfect time to do something we have been putting off.



We are probably thinking, "What’s the use? I will still be miserable, and it will not change the fact that I have been dumped/passed over for that promotion/turned down by my number-one choice for college or school." We can choose to think about it differently. We can be heartbroken in a messy living room that makes us feel even more miserable, or we can take constructive action that will likely lift our spirits and self-esteem.

Action has a wonderful way of breeding self-confidence and feelings of empowerment. You will feel less like a victim of your circumstances when you take action in an area you can actually control. Though it may sound like torture to suggest cleaning a closet after what feels like the most painful breakup in history the sooner we get moving, the better we will feel.

It is okay to resist for a while. As soon as we are ready, we can give it a try. If it still seems like an insurmountable, useless task, we can make a deal with ourselves to try it out for fifteen minutes. If we want to stop after 15 minutes, we can stop. But we usually find that the momentum of positive, productive energy created in just those 15 minutes is sufficient to make us want to keep going.



Be Kind to Yourself
One of the best times to do something nice for ourselves is when we are dealing with rejection. This serves a dual purpose: we get to do something enjoyable, and in so doing, we also prove to ourselves that we are worth the effort and attention. We can buy ourselves a special gift or get a massage, manicure and pedicure. We can set aside a day in the coming week to do whatever we want to do, whether that means browsing in a bookstore all afternoon sipping coffee, or losing ourselves in an art project. Planning ahead for "me" time brings with it the gift of something to look forward to, which makes difficult situations infinitely more bearable.



Be Kind to Someone Else
What it does mean, however, is that our thoughts colour our experiences. We have the power to use past success as evidence that future success is possible and, indeed, probable.

Rejection is a bitter pill to swallow. But its purpose is not gratuitous pain. If we have relationships with other people and if we regularly take risks, rejection is inevitable. Like any experience, rejection teaches a valuable lesson that we simply cannot learn any other way. We can always choose to see that value, although it may be difficult at first. Dealing with rejection in one area of life can teach us to deal more gracefully with our next experience of rejection in a completely different area. Lessons like these build on themselves. We can use our past experiences of rejection to make our future experiences less painful.


 
Whether it is a pet, a relative or a stranger, this strategy is particularly effective for coping with rejection. Focusing on someone else’s needs for a time reminds us that we are not the centre of the universe, and that our disappointments are not as devastating and all-encompassing as we make them out to be. Perhaps someone we love is ill, confined to home or hospital bed. We can ask if there is anything we might help that person with, being grateful for our health and our ability to offer help.

Feeling useful is a fail safe cure for self-pity. We can call a friend and ask how she is, without mentioning or complaining about our circumstances. Take the dog for an extra-long walk, or spend time snuggling with the cat – such small, loving actions centre us, bring us great comfort and remind us that we matter to other beings.



Reaffirm Your Successes
Rejection can make us feel as though we are failing, and can even lead us to falsely assume that not only have we failed, we are complete failures. Reminding ourselves of specific successes is a great way to remember our assets and accomplishments during a time when we are tempted to focus only on the negative. By focusing on the positive, we give it power in our minds, in our actions and ultimately in our circumstances. This does not mean that thinking positively will ensure that we never experience disappointment.

If you need help to get back on track book a private session with Derek Book Now! or Email

Thursday, 5 January 2017


Happy New year from A Happy Medium, Derek McGillivray.

Create some Magic this year!!

My card for the first week in Jan is Review and Contemplation
It's about living in the present and making the most of what you have and being thankful you have a new year to live life to the full. Find the real you and be that wonderful loving person you are, create new positive thoughts that bring all you need in life. Happy New Year x

Derek's events for this month.
Click here to book a session or text/call 07468119635


 It's what we don't see but feel that matters in life, do we see love? not always. Can we feel it ? All the time, if we open up our hearts. Take that time out today use my 3 Rs rewind, review and then re engage in life. Live in the now be grateful you are fit and healthy to make the changes you need to, see the challenges as opportunities to grow and learn. If you need help or a push contact me www.ahappymedium.co.uk and let me help you find that happy medium in life.



"My heroes are the ones who survived doing it wrong, who made mistakes, and recovered from them." We all make mistakes. The difference is how you look at the mistake. Do you learn from it, do you take action to correct it? Your attitude towards any mistakes you make will make a big difference in your life. Keep a positive outlook, learn from your mistakes, and don't hesitate to take action to correct mistakes you have made. So stop reviewing last year now! learn and move on with love in our hearts ! Say your sorry, forgive yourself and start with a clean sheet. If you need help call me 07468119635
www.ahappymedium.co.uk



I always send healing to all those that have hurt me or abused my good nature as I feel they need it more than me, I learn to forgive but I don't forgive others negative actions as that's is for them to forgive. I try my best to help others everyday not just at this time of year, yet there will still be others who abuse my good nature at this time of year, promise good things for myself and others, let me down at last min. Etc I still carry on thou and do what I do, giving out love as I know it comes back maybe not from the person we sent it to but your true friends who call you when down but not out, who speak to you as if we were just speaking yesterday, who make you laugh and not bring up the bad stuff, only the great memories you shared. Christmas is about giving unconditionally and I send my love unconditionally to all my friends and family and also to those that have hurt me I send love to so that one day you may see that love is more powerful than your negative attitude towards others! 
If you need help call me 07468119635 www.ahappymedium.co.uk



This 2017 is a one year in numerology as year of change and new beginnings is linked to the Magician card. The Magician's number is One, the number of creation and individuality; his power is transformation through the use of his will. In his manipulation of the basic elements into all the substances and materials of life, he shows us that from a foundation of the mundane can emerge all that is to come. He can take the Nothing from which the Fool emerged and shape it into Something, making one out of zero. Clearly this is power of a divine sort, and it is true that the Magician is a conduit for a higher power, which commands all of the material world. Since all that we can see in the physical world is the conduit himself, the acts he performs often seem like magic.



The Magician may seem like a strange title for someone who holds real power, because the word "magician" tends to conjure up pictures of illusionists and escape artists, whose power involves sleight of hand and misdirection. The Magician, however, is similar to the stage illusionist in many ways. He is confident in his skills and his ability to produce the effects that he wants. His real power comes from sources outside of him, and he is powerless without these sources, just as an illusionist depends on people "behind the scenes". Both magician and Magician, however, are as important to their powers are the powers are to them. Without a conduit, power itself is impotent and useless.


With his powers the Magician holds influence over all - theory and practice, logic and emotion, thought and action. Almost every modern depiction of the Magician includes one or more symbols of infinity to denote his limitless power; the snake eating its tail and the lemniscate (horizontal figure-eight) being chief among these. This limitless power comes from sources outside his body yet under his control. And as long as the Magician remembers that this power is his to command, even if he loses all of his worldly power and skill he can never truly be called powerless. For his Will is a power that, while it can be subdued, it can never be destroyed.



Another nearly universal association with the Magician is the red-and-white color scheme. This theme recurs throughout the Tarot and it is very symbolic that it starts with this card and not the Fool. For while the Fool was the potential for positive and negative, the Magician is the union of positive and negative. He creates and he preserves; he destroys and he redeems. His true power is that he not only knows what he must do, but he knows how he must do it, and why he must do it. Then he does it. The Magician reminds us that a wish alone will change nothing, but a decision can change everything. A desire to create is nothing without an ability to create, and vice-versa.


When the Magician appears he shows that you are ready to become a conduit for power, like he is. The forces of creation and destruction have always been at your command but now you have the wisdom and confidence needed to use them constructively. Now is the time to act, if you know what is it you want to accomplish and why. Since the powers of transformation are at your command, change your desires into objectives, your thoughts into actions, your goals into achievements. If you have recently met with failure, now you can change that failure into success as easily as the Magician changes fire into water. The only limits you have are those you impose on yourself.




The outward manifestations of such power are as numerous as they are varied, but the most common outer effect of the Magician's influence is un swaying and total confidence. The realisation that the world is under your control is what inspires this kind of confidence, and with good reason. So go out into the world, set your mind to whatever goal you are interested in, and then just stand back and watch as everything falls into place under your command. Ultimately, the message of the Magician is a simple one despite his limitless and infinitely complex power. Your life is under your control. Your life is what you want it to be. Your life is what you make it.

Keep positive and if you need help book an appointment. www.ahappymedium.co.uk

Derek is going live on Radio worldwide


SATURDAY 12 NOON (UK time) LIVE IN OPENCIRCLE ITS Derek McGillivray Joining us for a Chatrooms Special , introducing his work and love of Spirit, some readings and yes , his up coming further sessions in SOC ,, Short notice I know but this is on NOT to Miss! see Events for ya own Time Zone check http://spiritualistsonline.com/timetable.php
London Saturday, 7 January 2017 at 12:00:00


Saturday, 12 November 2016

Turning being lonely into a positive.

Being alone doesn't need to be a negative, you! yes you! can turn it into a positive!
Yes we all at times like to have that space and be alone, but when its forced on us we often fear it, we have gotten used to being with a certain person or family members, but life can change that, very quickly, kids grow up, people leave us unexpectedly, we loose that job and so on.
don't panic you can deal with being alone and you can change the situation to being positive, it can take time its up to you!

Lets look at the different types of being alone, 

Being alone is not the same as being lonely. There is nothing wrong with being on your own if you are comfortable with it.

People usually describe feeling lonely for one of two reasons, they simply don't see or talk to anyone very often, even though they are surrounded by people, they don't feel understood or cared for.

Deciding which is the case for you may help you to find a way of feeling better.



I always turn being lonely into a positive and use that time to plan and also process what has happen to make me feel lonely, we can all get depressed and down when alone and it can sometimes turn into a metal health issue, so stop and think about what you can do now to feel better.

If your in a relationship or job where you feel alone then take action!

Join a trade union, speak to personnel, marriage guidance, go online look for groups to join, 

Communicate how you feel, be assertive, very often we don't like saying no.

I say if I don't want to do something because I feel that I need a bit of space is just say "sorry that doesn't work for me today"

There are many situations where we can struggle with being alone and feel afraid, very often we find that we aren't alone in being alone.



Let's face it life can give us some really difficult challenges often when we don't expect it, we can feel alone, sad and frustrated. Then all of a sudden we get that energy inside to get us though that difficult time, but that energy inside us, is always there and is abundant, it's called love and light. Connect to yours today, feel that love and let it drive you through the challenges of life. Just say "I am made from love and light, I do have enough energy to overcome my challenges"

Using Open questions helps you connect to others.

When we take that step and join a club or go somewhere to meet new people we have to learn to communicate, engage in open communication by asking open questions. try and avoid using closed questions as this stops the flow and we may loose interest and go back to our quiet selves and hide. We then go back to feeling lonely and we don't move forward.


Closed questions

Definition

There are two definitions that are used to describe closed questions. A common definition is:

A closed question can be answered with either a single word or a short phrase.

Thus 'How old are you?' and 'Where do you live?' are closed questions. A more limiting definition that is sometimes used is:

A closed question can be answered with either 'yes' or 'no'.

By this definition 'Are you happy?' and 'Is that a knife I see before me?' are closed questions, whilst 'What time is it?' and 'How old are you?' are not. This causes a problem of how to classify the short-answer non-yes-or-no questions, which do not fit well with the definition for open questions. A way of handling this is to define 'yes-no' as a sub-class of the short-answer closed question.
Using closed questions

Closed questions have the following characteristics:
They give you facts.
They are easy to answer.
They are quick to answer.
They keep control of the conversation with the questioner.

This makes closed questions useful in the following situations:

UsageExample
As opening questions in a conversation, as it makes it easy for the other person to answer, and doesn't force them to reveal too much about themselves.
It's great weather, isn't it?
Where do you live?
What time is it?
For testing their understanding (asking yes/no questions). This is also a great way to break into a long ramble.
So, you want to move into our apartment, with your own bedroom and bathroom -- true?  
For setting up a desired positive or negative frame of mind in them (asking successive questions with obvious answers either yes or no ).
Are you happy with your current supplier?
Do they give you all that you need?
Would you like to find a better supplier?
For achieving closure of a persuasion (seeking yes to the big question).If I can deliver this tomorrow, will you sign for it now?


Note how you can turn any opinion into a closed question that forces a yes or no by adding tag questions, such as "isn't it?", "don't you?" or "can't they?", to any statement.

The first word of a question sets up the dynamic of the closed question and signals the easy answer ahead. Note how these are words like: do, would, are, will, if.
If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!


Open questions

Definition

An open question can be defined thus:

An open question is likely to receive a long answer.

Although any question can receive a long answer, open questions deliberately seek longer answers, and are the opposite of closed questions.
Using open questions

Open questions have the following characteristics:
They ask the respondent to think and reflect.
They will give you opinions and feelings.
They hand control of the conversation to the respondent.

This makes open questions useful in the following situations:

UsageExample
As a follow-on from closed questions, to develop a conversation and open up someone who is rather quiet.
What did you do on you holidays? 
How do you keep focused on your work?
To find out more about a person, their wants, needs, problems, and so on.What's keeping you awake these days?
Why is that so important to you?
To get people to realise the extend of their problems (to which, of course, you have the solution).I wonder what would happen if your customers complained even more?
Rob Jones used to go out late. What happened to him? 
To get them to feel good about you by asking after their health or otherwise demonstrating human concern about them.How have you been after your operation?
You're looking down. What's up?
  
Open questions begin with such as: what, why, how, describe.
Using open questions can be scary, as they seem to hand the baton of control over to the other person. However, well-placed questions do leave you in control as you steer their interest and engage them where you want them.
When opening conversations, a good balance is around three closed questions to one open question. The closed questions start the conversation and summarise progress, whilst the open question gets the other person thinking and continuing to give you useful information about them.
A neat trick is to get them to ask you open questions. This then gives you the floor to talk about what you want. The way to achieve this is to intrigue them with an incomplete story or benefit.

Being lonely at night time.

A lot of my clients have problems at night time and find it hard to sleep as they worry about being alone, especially after the loss of a loved one, or the break up of a relationship. It takes time to adjust and often counselling can help, being more relaxed, Reading positive books, watching funny programs, write down ideas, I used to go for a drive and get out of the house, avoid caffeine etc. get advice on that, see your doctor, nurse etc

Its trial and error what works for others may not work for you.


All you folk who have a troubled mind tonight just relax and let the Angels take over for a while. just feel yourself happy or what it's like to be happy remember a time you felt happy, and feel it now and how good it is to be happy, this Happy medium is now happy your happy, and if your not happy reading my happy post by now, then you will be happy as all this is trying to do is let you feel how happy I am you have read my happy post. If you can't get happy then just say sod this unhappy feeling I have and by now the universe is working on making you happy lol
 Night all for Christ sake be happy !!!!
 Happy dreams! 

How mediation can help you over come loneliness. 

Meditation, means being 'pleasantly anchored in the present moment'. With the hectic lifestyle people live in today, stress is a strong contributor to heart disease and high blood pressure. This is why it is important to learn to relax and relax our body. And this can be achieved through meditation. Meditation is easy for us to incorporate into our lives.

Meditation is becoming more and more popular every day and there is a reason behind this. Scientists study it; doctors recommend it and millions of people all over the world practice it every day. Why? Because meditation works. Meditation is not just a matter of belief or disbelief. Meditation can improve our achievements and it can help us,we can develop hidden talents and capabilities that we had forgotten we possess. Achieve more with less effort - that is the essence of Meditation.

Meditations can completely relax our body and mind and it can also make our brain more alert and make our heart relax. It refreshes us completely and gets us ready for another batch of work. It also helps us block out any distractions that may come across our way.

You don’t have to sit with knees crossed or anything funny, we all meditate at certain times of the day, like when were doing the Ironing, cooking, reading etc

So use that time when you feel lonely to meditate or try mindfulness, often this gives as an incite to ourselves and you may even enjoy it, this doesn't have to be done alone, there are groups and very often classes where you can be given guided meditations to start with.

There are lots of books on it and lots of CDs best to find you own way to meditate and just relax.

If you have a dream


Don't wait for some distant day to come,
it may be too late before you've even begun.
Not everyone will agree with all you decide.
Be true to yourself first and foremost.

The only important thing in life is what you do
with the time you spend here on Earth.
Don't be afraid to follow your desires,
they are not silly nor selfish.

Take the time and do what makes you feel alive.
Leave your fears and regrets in the past,
for this is where they belong.
Don't cloud today with things that can't be undone.
You have no more control over yesterday or tomorrow,
than you do the raging of your passions.

Do not quiet these dreams nor quench your desires.
For if you do, your journey is ended.
You have only today to begin anew and follow your dreams.

For in the end all we have are our memories.
When the twilight comes to us, let there be,
No excuses, no explanations, no regrets!

unknown



Remember to laugh and what made you laugh, remember what worked in the past, when you were lonely before, avoid the comfort zones i.e. eating and drinking to much just to cheer yourself up, if that is what you enjoy, ask people round, go see others, join a befriend group, often helping others you can help yourself. do that course you have always wanted to do, use that lonely time in a constructive way.

I really don't want to see you or help you get rid of an additive behaviour like Gambling and drinking as you aren't facing up to things, when we do that, have a list of things you can do when you feel lonely, hand write it as it helps to log it in to your subconscious mind. Stay focused on your well being and never be afraid to ask for help!


OK things happen out with your control, and we say why me? You have the ability to overcome the challenges, just laugh let go of all the stress, take a deep breath and feel that laughter come back and feel that energy inside saying, sod this! Time to accept and move forward.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

some useful web sites

http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/loneliness/#

www.wavelength.org.uk/

http://www.royalvoluntaryservice.org.uk/
www.webofloneliness.com

Thursday, 10 November 2016

Change and comfort zones



Change is always around us and its how we deal with it, what the last few months and days have proved is, we all need at times to come out of our comfort zones and accept what has happened and move forward the mainstream media and poles would have had us believe that although the Brexit vote would be close, there was little doubt that, come the 23rd June, the British would opt for the ‘safe’ option and choose to stay in the European Union.

Well it didn’t happen! 

We were assured that in the US, despite Donald Trump’s unlikely success in the race for the Republican party nomination, he was painted by most media as little more than a buffoon, he would stand little chance against the ‘safe pair of hands’, Hillary Clinton, in Tuesday’s election. Even though I was not impressed by either, I did feel change was coming.


Come out of the castle you have built around yourself, and experience the new and wonderful, don't let the fear of change stop you from moving forward, embrace the new love and light your letting in!

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

Many people have been shocked and dismayed by the unexpected change of these ballots. It doesn’t matter what side of the fence you were on we must accept that change is here, it’s like when I was a union official someone would come in and say “They can’t sack me!” Well I would say "You just have been it’s what you do about it now that matters."

Other, more nationalistic types have been overjoyed at the prospect of pulling up the drawbridge (or in America’s case, laying down a wall) to stop the slow ‘immigratory’ rot that they feel has set in and which threatens their proud heritage.
Some, like me, are somewhat bemused and rather curious about these interesting developments. While not holding a candle for any of the main personalities involved, I prefer to see these event as signalling the beginning of fundamental change to the established world order. 

No matter how you feel about Donald Trump’s victory or about Britain exiting the European Union, you must admit that people, the world over, are emboldened, hungry for change and ready to stick their necks above the establishment parapet like never seen before, even when you look back at other events like the Berlin wall being pulled down, change around the world is coming like it or not!

So, what is life coach like me doing talking about these events?

Donald had a dream and a goal and he set out to achieve it, he had to overcome obstacles and come out of comfort zones.



I am keeping an open mind on him and I will be looking with interest to what happens next, but hey well done, not someone I would have voted for.

The point I am getting at is we can all achieve great things, even when we are forced into a change, i.e. a loss of job, divorce, being a single parent like I was.

Part of the philosophy that underpins life coaching is that people hold the power to liberate themselves emotionally and spiritually, within and yet we have been deeply conditioned to believe that very little of that which we call our lives is under our control.

The result of this conditioning shows up in a society that looks to the outside world for approval, affirmation and respect. We have come to understand success as a concept that can be measured by the quantity and quality of the material possessions and monetary wealth we can display to others rather than the degree of happiness and fulfilment we feel within.


"Success doesn't always mean being rich or having lots of material gains, success to me means doing something now that has a positive effect on the greater good of us all. As what we do today affects what happens in the future"

I have neither the desire nor the time and space in this post to engage in an overly philosophical discussion about what we, in life coaching, call conscious and unconscious living, so let’s just say that whereas the ego is concerned with upholding and protecting the identity that we present to the external world, the inner being is concerned only with following the path or purpose that we came to this earth to do and which will bring joy, meaning and satisfaction to our lives.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

My biggest saying to my clients are follow your own gut feelings, it’s not always the best paid job that offers the most rewards, I could easy of been a great sales man or took jobs abroad in catering but I get more joy and feel more satisfaction from staying with my kids and supporting them growing up, I have also had the privilege to develop my skills to assist others and when I see others succeed, I feel great joy, that money can’t buy, like that first win we had after 3 years when I was chair of Fort William football club




One of the great goals being scored when I was chairman of Fort William FC.


Although society’s definition of success may still be firmly rooted in access to material possessions, there are some strong signs that we are beginning to question the wisdom of doing things the way they have always been done and believing things that our parents and their parents have taught us to believe.

The information age has ushered in a social media revolution that has made people around the world more connected in real time than ever before. At the press of a button, for example, this blog post can be shared with anyone, anywhere!

This new super-connectivity is a catalyst that is helping to erode the pillars of established thinking and established practice. People are, more than ever before, starting to listen to their inner voices and think for themselves rather than allowing the established order to do so for them.

This means we start looking at our learned behaviours and taking a new look at what we have be told, we start to read between the lines and see the truth different than what is being said. as in life coaching we help you look at your learnt behaviours and ask are they the behaviours you still need or want?  Its like when we look at helping someone stop smoking or loose weight, we ask what makes you eat the big cake? etc and we then establish learned behaviours, copping mechanisms and so on.




Then its the coming out of that COMFORT ZONE. and embracing change. 
Turning the negative into a positive is something I love to do, its hard and needs practice, determination and most of all desire.

I have said in previous blogs that preparation is important that means setting small goals first, look at what you can influence now, even a small step leads to many more small steps, planing is good but plans can change or be changed unexpectedly that can put us out of our comfort zones, so rather than fear it embrace change, learn what you can to influence it in your favour.

Through change we grow!


There is always something we can do, when we are forced to change, I remember coming to Fort William on a visit to my Mothers where I got a phone call, from the social services that I had to take my son full time, also 

 I didn't know what to do at first and asked my mother and we ended up staying with my mother having to move from Aberdeen and stay in Fort William as I had more support from the family, that meant I had to look for work and what I could do, no high paying jobs here, so after getting all the benefits sorted out, I got involved in the local community by volunteering  to be a mentor for a local charity and got training and though that met some great people and used my skills to help others, in return I managed to get grants and help to set up which was more of a hobby the A Happy Medium web site and gain the confidence to use my skills to help others and earn some money at the same time the rest is history, did I have to come out of my comfort zones yes and it was not always easy.  



Its better to do something than nothing, the joy I get from helping others over the years from Football teams and business mentor etc is so rewarding and self fulling, yes we all love to get paid to do it, but sometimes the respect you gain from helping others just because you want to, opens the door to even more fantastic opportunities with the finical rewards as well.

So get out there and face up to change, never let change get you down embrace it and the learnings from it good or bad but move forward, if you need help contact me.




Tuesday, 25 October 2016

Derek talking about Halloween and his own view on spiritual development.



Halloween is here again and I wonder if some of you have forgotten where it came from, it is a time I remember my own family culture and I celebrate the fact that we live on, and our love ones sometimes choose this time to come back and see us, that is why according to some we dress up as to scare away the bad spirits.

I have some wonderful memories of Halloween of going out and telling stories or having to sing for treats, the warm fire places and much more and with all this stuff going on with the mad clowns on TV news. I though it be good to remind everyone about the true meaning of Halloween and what its meant to myself, as is its a time I celebrate this wonderful gift I have to help others with a message from loved ones in a healing sense, where I am  privileged to act as the medium or the go between, I strongly believe we all can connect and I have some amazing examples and experiences some of which are in this blog. I love doing and going to events at this time, and it should be about fun and celebration that we are always loved and never alone.


My Halloween event this year in Beauly at the Lovat Arms Hotel, phone 01463 782313

What is Halloween all about?

Info from History Chanel

Straddling the line between fall and winter, plenty and paucity, life and death, Halloween is a time of celebration and superstition. It is thought to have originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off roaming ghosts. In the eighth century, Pope Gregory III designated November 1 as a time to honor all saints and martyrs; the holiday, All Saints’ Day, incorporated some of the traditions of Samhain. The evening before was known as All Hallows’ Eve and later Halloween. Over time, Halloween evolved into a secular, community-based event characterized by child-friendly activities such as trick-or-treating. In a number of countries around the world, as the days grow shorter and the nights get colder, people continue to usher in the winter season with gatherings, costumes and sweet treats.
Halloween’s origins date back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in). The Celts, who lived 2,000 years ago in the area that is now Ireland, the United Kingdom and northern France, celebrated their new year on November 1. This day marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of the dark, cold winter, a time of year that was often associated with human death. Celts believed that on the night before the new year, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On the night of October 31 they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth. In addition to causing trouble and damaging crops, Celts thought that the presence of the otherworldly spirits made it easier for the Druids, or Celtic priests, to make predictions about the future. For a people entirely dependent on the volatile natural world, these prophecies were an important source of comfort and direction during the long, dark winter.

Derek last Halloween after a show in Slains Castle theme bar in Aberdeen

On May 13, 609 A.D., Pope Boniface IV dedicated the Pantheon in Rome in honor of all Christian martyrs, and the Catholic feast of All Martyrs Day was established in the Western church. Pope Gregory III (731–741) later expanded the festival to include all saints as well as all martyrs, and moved the observance from May 13 to November 1. By the 9th century the influence of Christianity had spread into Celtic lands, where it gradually blended with and supplanted the older Celtic rites. In 1000 A.D., the church would make November 2 All Souls’ Day, a day to honor the dead. It is widely believed today that the church was attempting to replace the Celtic festival of the dead with a related, but church-sanctioned holiday. All Souls Day was celebrated similarly to Samhain, with big bonfires, parades, and dressing up in costumes as saints, angels and devils. The All Saints Day celebration was also called All-hallows or All-hallowmas (from Middle English Alholowmesse meaning All Saints’ Day) and the night before it, the traditional night of Samhain in the Celtic religion, began to be called All-hallows Eve and, eventually, Halloween.

One of my first strong Mediumship phone reading.

I have had so many wonderful experiences both giving and receiving readings and it always take you by surprise.

The first really moving one I gave was when doing the psychic phone lines when unemployed in 2007 for a short period, I had a call from a woman who was 49 in love with a younger man etc you know the sort of call I was having mostly based on what she would love to do to that young man not the sort of thing I really wanted to hear, but during that call I heard a big bang in my kitchen sink, went thought to see what happen and there was nothing out of place, strange I thought.

I finished of that call and had a think to myself do I want to do this sort of stuff listening to older women’s sexual issues etc you can imagine what was on my mind, but I was unemployed and needed the money, but just as I was going to sign off, the phone went I took the call hoping it was not another Horney women again.

This time the voice was female but sounded sad, I picked up a very young girl in sprit and told the women I had a young girl here, That’s Katie she said, I told her not to tell me anymore, I then felt myself choking and seen a grape in my mind. She confirmed this, as her daughter died at the age of two after she gave her a grape which got stuck in her throat. (Very sad this) I asked her if Katie climbed up into her sink and played in the sink in her kitchen, after that experience earlier where I heard a bang in my kitchen, she confirmed that she loved playing in the sink and would always be making noises, there were lots of other validations, but what got me was the message.

Katie had two brothers and her Mother was now pregnant again, her Dad was in the Gulf with the armed forces. Her Mother was so grief stricken as she gave her the grape that made her choke and felt so guilty that she was very depressed and not spending quality time with her brothers or Dad.


Derek Live on Air

Katie told her though me that it was not her fault, and that her brothers needed their Mum back, she was ok as she was with her Nan, I could feel the grief lift from her Mother. There was a lot more which is personal and also very moving.

To me that made it all worth while that day and also taught me how important the messages from sprit are. Yes I was on the psychic phone lines and I know that there is bad press about these lines but there are genuine psychics and mediums who work on these lines who just want to help.

Wasn't long after that I ended up on TV working with the Psychic today team on sky Chanel 886 and have appeared in the studios, but remember the law has changed and we are now very restricted by what we can do live on air and that is why just now I am very careful about doing facebook live readings.


Thinking about all those that have lost a loved one and are still grieving, being a medium and a sensitive soul I feel your pain, but I also have the privilege to feel the love and that love never dies. Keep sending love today

Finding your  own Spiritual way.

Finding your own way; if anyone had said to me 15 to 20 years ago that I would be doing what I am today I would have said there off their head. Looking back now I had always had gifts but had not realised, very often what stares us in the face we don’t notice, like a smell that is around and we cant figure out why, a certain tobacco smell then you realise that it was your granddad’s pipe tobacco and you think to yourself how can that be? He’s dead

Even this time last year I was drawn to two roses, at a certain time and something told me to take a photo of them.Then a client phoned and asked me if I would do a mediumship reading for her when I got home to Fort William and guess what,  her late husband loved roses and I should her the pictures and it brought a tear to her eyes. So keep your eyes open and you never know you may be a similar experience


Wild flowers remind us that beautiful things can happen even in hard to grow areas, all they need is a little light and love.
Spread some light and love today to those in your life going though the darkest challenges life can bring us at times. When we send it unconditionally with love, they then can see it's possible to recover and flower again!


You have a major problem and can’t think of a way out of it, and then suddenly you get a thought from nowhere with the answer. I have found that most of the friends I have who are developing, have went though some really bad times and had to find that inner strength or self belief from somewhere.

One thing I have learnt you have to find yourself first and understand how you feel about yourself. It’s no use helping others and taking on their problems if you feel unhappy, sad, miserable, frustrated or crazy. You’re just adding to your own problems.



That is why we can empathise with many of our clients as we have been though similar experiences. 

What a great feeling it is to help them, help themselves by sharing our experiences, which I think is the best gift to give, and tell you what it costs £0000. The more advanced we get in our mediumship; we can pass on some great learning’s and advice from our loved ones who have passed over plus some great information from the spirit world in general.

Yes we have sometimes to pay for readings from the more advanced mediums but in today’s world how many chat/advice lines do we phone that cost £0.45-£1.50 per min? lots and that’s not the psychic ones, Sprit is always there they don’t have answering machines and days off, there with us 24/7 (that doesn’t mean they watch us in the toilet or in bed etc. I have had some strange questions from clients about that lol)

Its very worthwhile investing your time and a little money in developing your skills, and it’s ok to take a donation or charge for your time when you give a reading, use your judgement. I have given more free readings than paid ones but what I got back in return money could not buy (love)

If I had not been though hard times of loss when I was young working offshore with events like the Piper Alpha, loss of a brother to suicide and so on…. I could in some ways not do what I do, so yes I agree we need to learn, but it is also right to have fun and not feel guilty about it. Halloween gives us an opportunity to do that.


Piper Alpha


We work hard for the times we can spend lots on ourselves and family, we must learn to receive as well as give. I spent so many years running after folk fighting their battles for them I forgot about me, Ended up in hospital with a slipped disk with a choice have an operation or you will be in a wheel chair for life. I had to sit for 10 days and not move, but boy did that not change my life, and in some ways, the life of others as I took action then to turn it around as we do live in the now, not the past life or in the future. I live for the moment and enjoy it as much as I can good bad or indifferent. I think we should ask for stuff for ourselves and take a break from our lessons and just live for the moment.

Enjoy sailing through your day, be guided by that divine light inside you, give all your troubles to the angels and just breathe and relax today, allow yourself space to think and just be in the moment, find that peace inside and realise you are calm and will overcome your challenges in time but for now I am at peace and feeling that divine love and light!


I discovered that some of my late highland relations also had signs of psychic abilities and that Scotland has a history of mysticism . My great Gran Mary MacKenzie was said to have shown signs of psychic abilities the MacKenzie Clan are linked to the Famous Brahan Seer more info can be found on the Clan wed site www.clan-mackenzie.org.uk

more info cant be got from story a written about this in Chat its fate.



Down load here

I am not tied to any faith . I do however believe in life after death and the holy spirit I was brought up within the Church of Scotland and continue to attend services in that church I do attend services in other churches.

Being Spiritual does not tie you to a church or a belief it is a way of life.I discovered that some of my late highland relations also had signs of psychic abilities and that Scotland has a history of mysticism . My great Gran Mary MacKenzie was said to have shown signs of psychic abilities the MacKenzie Clan are linked to the Famous Brahan Seer more info can be found on the Clan wed site www.clan-mackenzie.org.uk

Remember today is a gift that’s why we call it the present I moved back to a small town Fort William after years of living in a big city of Aberdeen plenty to do lots of like mined folk, jobs etc now I wake up to quiet roads, beautiful scenery and fresh air.

The locals are here some of them are sad and depressed they don’t know what they have. We seem to forget about living a happy life and worry about the material stuff, when we lose that, we grow spiritually and long may it continue. By the way it’s ok to get angry and frustrated now and again it motivates us to take action, some sheep need their Sheppard and that’s what we are at times.

I have some amazing experiences and I will share some of them here just now.



People have been asking about the Photo on my Facebook and my web site, from March 30th 2012, of me and a hazy image of a dog, there is also a faint image of head and shoulders on the left of the lady in front of me. I never thought when the photo was taken that I would be so amazed, I uploaded the photo straight from my iphone, so folk wouldn’t think I had made it up, that week I had been asking for evidence from the spirit world if what I was feeling and seeing in my mind was true, not that I was questioning it, but I had just started doing more live demonstrations and always get nervous before hand, as I still do now because we have no idea what’s going to happen. So this did give me a lot of confidence to carry on doing demonstrations.



The night the photo was taken, was the first time I’d been to one of Dereks’ shows, although I had seen him for a private reading previously. I had been impressed with his reading for me, and had decided to go to the show to see how it all worked with a crowd. As the evening progressed, I felt very emotional, and was feeling slightly nervous. I don’t know why, as I wasn’t involved in any way. Near the end, Derek said he had a message for me, but it didn’t seem relevant at the time. I had been getting “visions”, and “smells” all night, of things I couldn’t make head nor tail of . Then he hit on the dogs theme….German Shepherds, to be precise! I had a lot of involvement with my sisters’ dogs, over the years. She had German Shepherds since her late teens, and I had looked after them a lot when she was away etc. I had also been the person who buried a couple of them when they died. I laughed to myself about it, and thought no more.

At the end, when I was leaving, I watched a couple of people who I didn’t know, take photos of Derek, standing in front of the seating area. I was drawn to the scene…although there was nothing to see. I eventually left, but found myself hanging back for some reason. I think I was one of the last to leave. I felt a bit sad as I went down the stairs…a feeling I quite often get if I am near the scene of a fatal accident, or if I go back to places I once associate with family and friends who are no longer with me. I threw it of, and went home.

The next day, I still had a feeling of “sadness” about me. I just couldn’t seem to throw it off. A few hours later, I came across a photo on Facebook, one of the audience had taken the night before. Derek was standing looking towards the camera, with a hand out stretched by his side. Looking up towards his hand was a hazy image of what looked to me like a LARGE DOG! I couldn’t believe it. Was this the dog who was communicating with me? The possibilities are endless. I haven’t been able to see Derek in person since, but when I do, I hope for a similar experience. I have worked on my own spiritual development since, but have not reached the level I need to act on my “visions” and feelings I get. I would love to work with Derek, for a while, and further develop my capabilities.

Kenny Gray

This was my second time going to Derek’s show, Derek and I became friends  at his show there was a guy who Derek, had been drawn to and gave him some validations and messages from departed friends, then as he pulled away Derek said he felt two dogs “German Sheppard’s.” And if it meant anything to him, he said it did, after that Derek closed the show but Derek said to me that he did not have a photo for his profile/Facebook etc, so I took his phone and I took a few pictures for Derek. We did not think anything of it, then we went for a few drinks back at the hotel chatting away we both had a look at the photo and couldn’t believe what we were seeing in the photo the picture of the dog. We posted it on Facebook and Kenny commented on it saying it was the dogs. Amazing eh!

Nicola Gemmell .


Wasn't long after that I did a show in Aberdeen's Holburn Bar upstairs and this photo was taken. and you can see a lady and other faith images of orbs etc.



Have a great Halloween.



I am running courses in November see my web for details
www.ahappymedium.co.uk