Thursday, 10 November 2016

Change and comfort zones

Change is always around us and its how we deal with it, what the last few months and days have proved is, we all need at times to come out of our comfort zones and accept what has happened and move forward the mainstream media and poles would have had us believe that although the Brexit vote would be close, there was little doubt that, come the 23rd June, the British would opt for the ‘safe’ option and choose to stay in the European Union.

Well it didn’t happen! 

We were assured that in the US, despite Donald Trump’s unlikely success in the race for the Republican party nomination, he was painted by most media as little more than a buffoon, he would stand little chance against the ‘safe pair of hands’, Hillary Clinton, in Tuesday’s election. Even though I was not impressed by either, I did feel change was coming.

Come out of the castle you have built around yourself, and experience the new and wonderful, don't let the fear of change stop you from moving forward, embrace the new love and light your letting in!

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

Many people have been shocked and dismayed by the unexpected change of these ballots. It doesn’t matter what side of the fence you were on we must accept that change is here, it’s like when I was a union official someone would come in and say “They can’t sack me!” Well I would say "You just have been it’s what you do about it now that matters."

Other, more nationalistic types have been overjoyed at the prospect of pulling up the drawbridge (or in America’s case, laying down a wall) to stop the slow ‘immigratory’ rot that they feel has set in and which threatens their proud heritage.
Some, like me, are somewhat bemused and rather curious about these interesting developments. While not holding a candle for any of the main personalities involved, I prefer to see these event as signalling the beginning of fundamental change to the established world order. 

No matter how you feel about Donald Trump’s victory or about Britain exiting the European Union, you must admit that people, the world over, are emboldened, hungry for change and ready to stick their necks above the establishment parapet like never seen before, even when you look back at other events like the Berlin wall being pulled down, change around the world is coming like it or not!

So, what is life coach like me doing talking about these events?

Donald had a dream and a goal and he set out to achieve it, he had to overcome obstacles and come out of comfort zones.

I am keeping an open mind on him and I will be looking with interest to what happens next, but hey well done, not someone I would have voted for.

The point I am getting at is we can all achieve great things, even when we are forced into a change, i.e. a loss of job, divorce, being a single parent like I was.

Part of the philosophy that underpins life coaching is that people hold the power to liberate themselves emotionally and spiritually, within and yet we have been deeply conditioned to believe that very little of that which we call our lives is under our control.

The result of this conditioning shows up in a society that looks to the outside world for approval, affirmation and respect. We have come to understand success as a concept that can be measured by the quantity and quality of the material possessions and monetary wealth we can display to others rather than the degree of happiness and fulfilment we feel within.

"Success doesn't always mean being rich or having lots of material gains, success to me means doing something now that has a positive effect on the greater good of us all. As what we do today affects what happens in the future"

I have neither the desire nor the time and space in this post to engage in an overly philosophical discussion about what we, in life coaching, call conscious and unconscious living, so let’s just say that whereas the ego is concerned with upholding and protecting the identity that we present to the external world, the inner being is concerned only with following the path or purpose that we came to this earth to do and which will bring joy, meaning and satisfaction to our lives.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

My biggest saying to my clients are follow your own gut feelings, it’s not always the best paid job that offers the most rewards, I could easy of been a great sales man or took jobs abroad in catering but I get more joy and feel more satisfaction from staying with my kids and supporting them growing up, I have also had the privilege to develop my skills to assist others and when I see others succeed, I feel great joy, that money can’t buy, like that first win we had after 3 years when I was chair of Fort William football club

One of the great goals being scored when I was chairman of Fort William FC.

Although society’s definition of success may still be firmly rooted in access to material possessions, there are some strong signs that we are beginning to question the wisdom of doing things the way they have always been done and believing things that our parents and their parents have taught us to believe.

The information age has ushered in a social media revolution that has made people around the world more connected in real time than ever before. At the press of a button, for example, this blog post can be shared with anyone, anywhere!

This new super-connectivity is a catalyst that is helping to erode the pillars of established thinking and established practice. People are, more than ever before, starting to listen to their inner voices and think for themselves rather than allowing the established order to do so for them.

This means we start looking at our learned behaviours and taking a new look at what we have be told, we start to read between the lines and see the truth different than what is being said. as in life coaching we help you look at your learnt behaviours and ask are they the behaviours you still need or want?  Its like when we look at helping someone stop smoking or loose weight, we ask what makes you eat the big cake? etc and we then establish learned behaviours, copping mechanisms and so on.

Then its the coming out of that COMFORT ZONE. and embracing change. 
Turning the negative into a positive is something I love to do, its hard and needs practice, determination and most of all desire.

I have said in previous blogs that preparation is important that means setting small goals first, look at what you can influence now, even a small step leads to many more small steps, planing is good but plans can change or be changed unexpectedly that can put us out of our comfort zones, so rather than fear it embrace change, learn what you can to influence it in your favour.

Through change we grow!

There is always something we can do, when we are forced to change, I remember coming to Fort William on a visit to my Mothers where I got a phone call, from the social services that I had to take my son full time, also 

 I didn't know what to do at first and asked my mother and we ended up staying with my mother having to move from Aberdeen and stay in Fort William as I had more support from the family, that meant I had to look for work and what I could do, no high paying jobs here, so after getting all the benefits sorted out, I got involved in the local community by volunteering  to be a mentor for a local charity and got training and though that met some great people and used my skills to help others, in return I managed to get grants and help to set up which was more of a hobby the A Happy Medium web site and gain the confidence to use my skills to help others and earn some money at the same time the rest is history, did I have to come out of my comfort zones yes and it was not always easy.  

Its better to do something than nothing, the joy I get from helping others over the years from Football teams and business mentor etc is so rewarding and self fulling, yes we all love to get paid to do it, but sometimes the respect you gain from helping others just because you want to, opens the door to even more fantastic opportunities with the finical rewards as well.

So get out there and face up to change, never let change get you down embrace it and the learnings from it good or bad but move forward, if you need help contact me.